YOU wanted to ask, but you were afraid of the answers. Is he or she the one for you? What is the wildest thing he's ever done? How many sex partners has he had? Is he broke or head over heels in debt? Has he ever been arrested? And more importantly, how can you be sure?
Knowing the answers to these questions can protect your health, preserve your sanity and may even save your life. So, before you open your heart, open your eyes and your ears and learn the truth behind the new man in your life. But be prepared: The truth works both ways, and if you ask the question, be prepared to answer it as well.
"If a guy runs away from your questions, don't get discouraged," says Dr. Lauren Durant, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert in Durham, N.C. In her national seminar and workbook A Good Man is NOT Hard to Find, she compiles a list of 54 questions, arranged from most invasive to least invasive, that a woman should ask within the first three months of dating. "If you start asking questions and the guy runs away, that's exactly what you want. It sets you up to meet someone who does want what you want."
Paula Williams, a 30-something entertainment manager and business owner in Raleigh, N.C., recommends an upfront approach. Once afraid to tackle the tough questions, the single executive followed Durant's principles and has been pleased with the results. "I've gotten such positive responses from men by being more upfront, asking some of the more difficult questions, and learning about myself in the process."
So, next time, be informed before you get involved by tackling the questions that you've always wanted
answers to, but were too afraid to ask.
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